East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
