Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
