yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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