no. you can't hotbox the world.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
