he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When did angry sex become our thing?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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