I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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