i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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