would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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