I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
3pm strippers are depressing
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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