This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
