You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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