her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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