i can't believe i had my finger in that
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think pants incapable of making pants work
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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