it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
