I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
