is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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