the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Drake has all the answers
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
