OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
