Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
