sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize