where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
