he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
well you can't waste a boner
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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