You're so nebulous sometimes
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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