it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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