why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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