They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
These tits shall not be calmed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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