If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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