I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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