OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
