Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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