i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
