i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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