this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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