Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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