he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
