Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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