nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
