woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
did you just send me my own nude
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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