My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
