my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Watching her eat just hurts me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
