You're completely useless in the revolution.
i wish my penis had a tongue
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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