OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
