Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
