i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
