..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
