very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
