her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
