hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
