bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
