She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
