hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
