it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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