Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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