sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
