I hate all girls vehemently.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
