Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
