Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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