That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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