Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
