did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize