I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize