dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
